There are bad fathers, but it is good that in the absence of the father, there are mothers who give everything for their children, make sure that they do not lack anything material, not even the love of a mother. But we must clarify something; the love of a father cannot be replaced.
All of us who grew up without parents, even if we have a super mom, like I do, we will always have a void within which we grew up without a dad. That that, I am a mother and father to my children, is a fallacy. Father is father and mother is mother. You don't have to become a father to be a good mother. You are simply a good mother who gives everything for her children, but being a father is impossible.
In fact, by saying that you are a mother and father to your children, you imply that to be a good mother, you have to become a father. The woman to be good does not have to be compared with the man, in any respect. The woman, whether she is a mother or not, can fulfill herself and achieve success without the need to be compared to a man, or having to say that she does it equal to or better than the man, as if that were the standard. You will never hear a man say that he is proud because he did the same or better than the woman. You are a great mother because you are, because of your actions and because you give everything for your children, not because you become a father.
We understand that many mothers use this expression, alluding to the fact that in the absence of the father, they try to give their children everything they need, that even if the father has abandoned them, they will lack nothing. But this is also a way to excuse the wrongdoings of men. You don't have to fill the void that the bastard who left left, that was his responsibility. You will be the best mom you've ever been, period.
We must understand that it is not only the material, both the mother and the father are equally important for the development of children, they play different roles in their lives and when one of the two is absent, the family nucleus is broken. Unfortunately this is something that marks the children.
It has been shown that most young people who go wrong are young people who grew up without a father figure in their lives.
Regardless of how good a mother the mother is, it is not about that, it is about the boy or the girl, what is missing. Of course, it is not the mother's fault that the father is irresponsible, and it is good that he is there for his children, like the good mother he is, but we have to make things clear. It's not about wow, how bad the wretch is, that's why I'm a super mom to my children, so they never need their dad. None of that matters, it is about the children, not about the father or the mother, if not about them and they will lack a father in their lives. Regardless of the circumstances under which dad is gone or how bad it was to mom, this is a void that only dad can fill.
As fathers and mothers that we are, we must do what is necessary to be there for our children, not allow relationship problems to affect the relationship that children have with their mother or father. We have to understand that couples separate, but children do not divorce their parents. Regardless of what the problem was between you and your partner, we cannot allow that to affect his or her relationship with the children. The problem is between the two of you.
Many couples after having separated, make the mistake of using children as weapons; speaking badly to them about their mother or father, involving them in the problems the couple went through, or if I have custody, not letting my ex see them, because he was mean or mean to me.
It is common to see parents having conversations with their children like; look what your mom did to me, look what your unfortunate father did. Children should not be involved in relationship problems, there are men who as husbands are a disaster, but perhaps they are good parents and the same applies to women. Children have nothing to do with the problems of adults, their relationship with their parents is independent of the relationship between the two of them. Please do not force them to choose between mom and dad, this causes psychological damage that can be very difficult to repair.